Have you ever bought something from a salesperson you just liked, even though you didn’t really need it? Or agreed with a point someone made simply because you admired them? If so, you’ve experienced the Liking Tendency in action. It’s a powerful, often unconscious, bias that influences our decisions more than we realize. Understanding it can help us make better choices and avoid being manipulated.

1. What is Liking Tendency? #

The Liking Tendency is the inclination to be more easily persuaded by people we like. It means we’re more likely to agree with them, buy from them, and trust their opinions. Put simply, we favor those we have positive feelings toward.

This mental model originates primarily from social psychology and behavioral economics. Research shows that feelings of connection and affection can significantly override logical reasoning. Think of it as a shortcut our brains use. Instead of meticulously analyzing every piece of information, we rely on our feelings to guide us.

2. How It Works #

Imagine a scale: on one side you have “Logic and Evidence,” and on the other, “Liking and Connection.” When the “Liking and Connection” side is heavier, even flimsy evidence can sway us.

Here’s a breakdown of what makes the “Liking and Connection” side heavier:

• Similarity: We tend to like people who are like us – sharing similar backgrounds, interests, or even mannerisms. This can create a sense of shared understanding and trust.
• Compliments: Flattery gets you everywhere, right? Genuine (or even perceived) compliments stroke our ego and make us more receptive.
• Familiarity: Repeated exposure to someone or something can create a sense of comfort and liking. This is why advertisers often use repetition. Think of it as the “comfort food” of social interaction.
• Association: Linking someone to a positive experience or outcome can increase our liking for them. For instance, associating a product with a celebrity endorsement or a positive lifestyle.

So, the Liking Tendency essentially bypasses our rational thinking by tapping into our emotional centers. A charismatic salesperson who understands your needs (or pretends to) can trigger this bias, making you more likely to buy their product, even if a cheaper or better alternative exists.

3. Examples of the Model in Action #

Let’s look at a few examples of Liking Tendency in action:

• Business (Sales): A car salesperson who bonds with you over a shared hobby (like playing golf) is more likely to close the deal, even if their car isn’t the best option. Their likability creates trust and reduces your resistance to their sales pitch.
• Personal Life (Relationships): We often overlook flaws in our loved ones because we like them so much. Their positive qualities outweigh any potential red flags in our minds. This can lead to overlooking problematic behaviors in a relationship.
• Investing (Stock Market): People sometimes invest in companies led by charismatic CEOs, even when the company’s fundamentals are weak. The CEO’s likability overshadows the potential financial risks. We see this a lot with cult stocks.

4. Common Misunderstandings or Pitfalls #

One common mistake is believing that the Liking Tendency is inherently bad. It’s not. It’s a natural human tendency that allows us to build relationships and cooperate. However, ignoring its potential influence is where things can go wrong.

Another pitfall is assuming that anyone you like is automatically trustworthy or competent. Liking someone doesn’t guarantee their expertise or good intentions. Just because you enjoy someone’s company doesn’t mean they’re making sound decisions.

Finally, mistaking superficial charm for genuine connection. Some people are skilled at feigning interest or offering insincere compliments. Learning to distinguish between genuine and manipulative behavior is key.

5. How to Apply It in Daily Life #

Here’s how to combat the Liking Tendency and make more rational decisions:

• Pause and Reflect: When you feel a strong liking for someone, take a moment to assess the situation objectively. Ask yourself: “Am I being influenced by my feelings, or am I evaluating the facts?”
• Separate the Message from the Messenger: Focus on the message itself, not the person delivering it. Is the information sound, regardless of who’s presenting it?
• Seek Diverse Opinions: Talk to people who don’t necessarily share your views or like the same things you do. This can provide a more balanced perspective.
• Question Your Assumptions: Challenge your own biases. Are you overlooking flaws because you like someone? Are you agreeing with them just to avoid conflict?

6. Related Mental Models #

The Liking Tendency works in concert with several other mental models:

• Authority Bias: We tend to obey figures of authority, even if they’re wrong. Liking an authority figure can amplify this bias.
• Confirmation Bias: We seek out information that confirms our existing beliefs. Liking someone who shares our views strengthens this bias.
• Halo Effect: Our overall impression of someone influences how we feel and think about their character. If we like someone, we tend to assume they possess other positive qualities.
• Reciprocity: We feel obligated to return favors or kindnesses. If someone shows us liking, we might feel obligated to reciprocate, even if it’s against our best interests.

By understanding the Liking Tendency, and related mental models, you can navigate social interactions with greater awareness and make more informed decisions, even when your heart is leading the way. Remember, it’s okay to like people, just don’t let it cloud your judgment.